Monday, November 26, 2012

Catharsis, or Aftermath Part 2

I'm going to start this off with a picture of Cullen from the show he played last night.  It's always so difficult to get pictures that are at all clear of him because music venues tend to be quite dark and I don't like using flash.

(this one's actually pretty clear, comparatively.)

Alright.  so I try to cook a lot, and back when I was in high school or when I was living at home, when I would get mad or worried or depressed, I would bake something, usually a cake.   And so it's become a sort of catharsis for me in that I can focus on what I'm doing adequately, I'm pretty confident about my cooking skills, and when I'm done, I have something delicious to eat when I'm done.

This being the case, I'm going to explain what happened yesterday (though I'm still really uncomfortable about it), illustrated by pictures of the cream base homemade tomato sauce pasta I just finished eating.

So as I had written about shortly in my thanksgiving post, I had to be late to work because I got really nauseous with some of the worst stomach cramps I'd ever dealt with.  I was crying so I had Cullen call my work around 2:40 to tell them that I would be an hour late.  I said an hour (so 4 am, mind you), because I was hoping I'd be ok by then and if not, I'd have to call back then.  I started to feel better, and so Cullen walked me to work (for the second time) and after a 4 hours, in an 8 hour shift, they told me to go home because it wasn't as busy as they had hoped and they didn't have money to spare.

(woo!  tomatoes and garlic with lots of butter.)

All was fine and dandy, the next day I had an on call shift, which they decided not to take, so I decided to stay home.  For the past month that I have worked there, it has always been friday and saturday shifts.  and I had fallen into habit.  being thanksgiving break, I slipped in not writing down the correct date for my next shift.  and made a really big mistake.

(heavy cream is one of my best friends in the kitchen.  the first is probably butter.)

I missed a shift.  which I never do.  I'm never late for anything and I never miss anything.  I didn't even realize what had happened until I turned my phone on later that afternoon and saw I had a voicemail.  I checked it and my heart stopped and immediately leaped into my throat.  I think I may have terrified Cullen, who was standing next to me, with the look of sheer terror on my face as I heard them telling me I was supposed to be working 20 minutes ago, at 8 am.  So naturally, lots of panic and crying followed.  I was terrified.  A few moments later, I called them to try to figure out if anything could be done.

(writing about this is making me sad and angry, so I'm going to focus on how delicious this was)

They fired me.  they told me they had been having  a pretty bad problem with my attendance as if it had been some constant issue, which, of course, it wasn't.  So all my talking yesterday of oh-god-what-am-I-going-to-do-now, well, now you know what it was about.  I feel pretty bad, but not nearly as awful as I did yesterday.  Now I'm just trying to figure out what to do next for a job and what I'm going to do about money  for the next month.

what a mess.

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