Music is the thing I do. Or, more accurately, music is the thing I want to do.
I read this quote some time ago that I'll paraphrase that went something along the lines of "The only thing holding you back from what you want to do is the bullshit you tell yourself." And this is where I've been stuck recently.
The things I tell myself include "I'm too tired to stay up and _____" "I'm too busy for _____/I don't have enough time to work on that" or I simply start too many projects and begin too many ideas to execute anything properly. Most importantly, it's hard. Creating something that you, your cruelest critic, won't hate is hard and that's just the way it is.
I hold myself up thinking that I hate a certain lyric because it's corny or overused, or that this chord progression reminds me too much of an olafur arnalds or max richter piece that may have influenced me a little too much. But it is so much more important to keep moving rather than judge and critique. I have dozens of short recording of ideas to flesh out later, as well as many pages of 4 or 8 measures of different ideas, but it takes so much more effort to grow these things to full pieces.
When you're tired all the time, it seems like such a daunting task to just start chipping away at all these possible songs and begin work on execution, but I'm trying to make this year better.
I want this year to be the year I write more, transcribe more, record more, and start playing shows. Here's to hoping.